So! My dear Sweetheart just got out of a long talk with his parents about me and him and “us” and the move. And things that will be expected of me. Scary huh!?! Over all it wasn’t that bad. They expect me to be an active part of their family. Helping out around the house and participating in conversations and all that. Which is fine. It is just the way that it was conveyed to me that made me very defensive. I am a shy person by nature. LIFE has FORCED me to come out of my shell somewhat and I think I have done a pretty good job in just two years. It was that my visits to go see Bobby and his family… well, I was myself. weather that was quiet me or talkative me depressed me. I realize that that might not have been the best impression of myself that I could have left, but at least I was being genuine instead of putting up a front.
So what they expect of me is also for me to be myself. But I don’t feel like they like who I am. So while I DO NOT expect them to “walk on eggshells” around me, I feel like I am the one that has to. I feel like I have to be someone that I’m not for them to think better of me. I am sure that it will be fine, it is just a difficult concept for me to think about at this point.
The other thing is that he is under the impression that NO MATTER WHAT I am moving up there in two months. I am living in a reality where that MAY not be possible. If I can get an externship up there, then awesome, I am moving. If I can’t, I now have two choices. One, take the externship here and then quit when it is over and move anyways. In that way, I would have at least some experience so that I can be hired. The other option would be to stay here for another three to six months so that I have something actually solid to stand on when I go looking for a job. Neither one of us like that last option, as you can imagine, but honestly, it is a real possibility and may give us a better start and may end up making our lives easier in the future. Just something that is frustrating the both of us right now.
Now onto the good news!!!! And you have no idea how amazingly excited about this part. Two huge things. They ARE going to accept me into their home and give me a second chance, even after I screwed up the first few times. They are accepting me weather I have a job right away or not. They are being supportive and they just want Bobby to be happy so they are doing this for us. This is beyond amazing and, honestly, more than I expected. More than I could ever expect from anyone. Even my own parents probably wouldn’t be that open.
The other AMAZING thing is that they might be allowing us to sleep in the same room together IF we can fit his bed and a cot or something. So we would be required to sleep in separate beds but who freaking cares? Right? I get to be near him. I get to talk to him all I want every night. I get to wake up to him every morning RIGHT THERE after over 2 years! Most amazingly, I get to be near him every day, no matter what he is only a few miles away and more within my reach than he has ever been. 1000 miles in distance has been really hard on the both of us. My life gets to officially start when I am in his arms.
So to anyone out there that bothered to read through this whole thing, HAVE AN AMAZINGLY JOY FILLED DAY! (or night lol!)
